After struggling with answers as to where and how FLR was to fit into my life, I read this book.....
It answered so many questions that were unanswered. I think it is by far the best book to introduce your wife/partner to the idea. I struggled with so many aspects of the life that we had chosen to lead in particular - Who is in charge really, him or me. After reading the book, it all became clear that I was not to feel any pressure to provide him with anything that I was not comfortable with and the fact that I had merely acknowledged the fact that I agreed to let him serve me was gift enough!
I guess the main thing that I struggled with is that I felt obliged to reward him for his good service and have come to realise that allowing him to serve me is reward enough and should I choose to allow him any "kink" (which we both enjoy) - this would be a gift, not a reward! You won't beleive how this book has changed my thinking :) Happy Reading!
It's fore sure a book worth reading and considering it's ideas - way more than other "FLR-handbooks" I know.
ReplyDeleteAlthough there are also some aspects in it, to which neither me nor my lady can't agree wholeheartedly, it's main-ideas are really good. It's turning the FLR-dynamic from head to feet - taking away this "it's all just kinky"-feeling and providing a view to FLR, which gives it a "well, that's nice and really could work also to us"-feeling instead.
In the years before, when thinking about a FLR, my lady often asked the question "And what's MY profit from it?" It was an absolutely valid question. In most other approaches to FLR, the woman has to do much more "work" than without the FLR (thinking and organizing sessions, executing punishments, coming up with new ideas over and over, ...); so, when it comes to implementing D/s-elements into an existing partnership by initiative of the man, the woman of course asks why she should shoulder so much extra-work.
Maybe she want to give it a try, but if she does, it is mostly, because she likes to do her husband a favour, because she loves him. So from the beginning, it's all about the man - all action is centered around his desires, turning the woman into an instrument to fulfill his desire. But how can a FEMALE LED relationship really work under those circumstances? Even the man will not feel good, if he realizes that his "mistress" does not really gain pleasure from all that, that she's more or less acting - to satisfy HIS needs, because she loves him.
Rika's approach put the woman in the right place; it deliveres an traceable answer to the "And what's MY profit from it?"-question.
Since my lady and I read this book, it inspired us to give a FLR a new try according to it's main-ideas ... and this try continues to provide us the best results we ever had. It's lasting for several months now and seems to work quite well to us, remarkably enhancing and deepening our relationship as you can read about on our ladys blog.
rené
Carina,
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with your new blog. Always nice to see another "Sister" out there!
we love the book too. very practical.
ReplyDeleteDear Carina,
ReplyDeleteI hope you and Slut Suzy are well. I haven't seen any blog entry or comment from either of you lately (maybe I just didn't read the right blogs, though).
I would really like to hear more from you, Carina. There are so few women here who are in a situation that is at least to a certain degree comparable to mine. I hoped you would be one of them.
BTW: Yesterday "The Naked Husband" posted a review of "Uniquely Rika", you might like to read. - Ah, but I see, you follow his blog anyway.